On Monday of this past week, the Maple Theater in Bloomfield Township closed. It was one of the last, if not the last, places to be able to see independent and art house films that AMC and Emagine don’t feel like showing (until they have to during Oscar season…). My favorite memory of going to that theater was in 2021 seeing Parasite and being maybe the only non-Korean person in the theater. It was my fault then that the film had to be subtitled I guess. Those types of theaters are an important cog in the machine, but how the general masses go to see movies, there is very little money coming in to keep them afloat. This is a loss for all of us, or at least for the people who like to watch more movies than MCU and animated movies. Anyways, four films this week, including one that I had planned to see at the Maple, but had to go to the Birmingham 8, the theater that took on the Maple’s membership accounts at least for the next year. On to the reviews!
I have issues with anxiety from time to time. In this one, Orion has a fear of nearly everything imaginable. It is really hard to watch the first 15 minutes for me because I can’t relate to a little of what he was going through. It’s when the fantasy side of the movie begins that this one goes from good to pretty good. The animation was well done and the voice acting really worked. There are points where Houser, who voiced Dark, sounded like Seth Rogan, but Bassett has a distinct voice of her own. The main thing I didn’t like with this one was what they chose as a structure to the plot. This will spoil the plot a tad, but we are dealing with multiple time periods. The movie is a dad telling a story to his daughter, and that story is of him as a child. It’s when we get into the third act where that structure folds in on itself and it kind of ruins the movie. This is a case though of me not being in the target audience. This is a kids movie, and I’m sure my nieces and nephews would like it more than me, mainly because since the oldest of them just turned 10, the structure of a plot means nothing to them (yet, hopefully).
I am not sure who this movie is for. The movie is based on Snoop Dogg’s youth football league he has operated for almost 20 years. Real life Snoop Dogg is a certified coach. However, the character he plays here is totally unlikeable. iPhone is what would happen if Randy Moss or Chad Johnson just turned the diva crap up to 11 and stayed there. It gets tiring to watch, and when he is ”redeemed” at the end, I didn’t buy it. For the rest of the cast, I continue to think Mike Epps is playing the worst character like most of the movies he is in. Suprisingly, George Lopez comes across the best as Two-J’s high school coach. The scenes in his office between him and Dogg are the best scenes here. Will I ever watch this again? No. Is this the worst Prime movie? No, and that is a different problem entirely.
This was an ok movie. Newton was pretty good as the outsider who finds herself in a weird position. Sprouse was good here too as the creature who comes to life because Lisa made a wish. Really, there isn’t anyone in the cast who is bad. Gugino plays Lisa’s step-mom who you know something bad will happen to the moment she opens her mouth. Chrest plays Lisa’s father and he is basically playing the same character he plays in Stranger Things. The issue I had really is Diablo Cody’s script. Based on what you saw in the trailer, would you guess the Hamburglar would be referenced? He is. That is part of the problem. The movie is trying to be clever and it is failing. There is a good teen movie in here. To be honest, the whole movie could be and I’m too old to appreciate it. Still, I can’t help but wonder if a more focused script could have made this a movie one we see on Freeform around Halloween. Who am I kidding. Of course we will. They can’t show Hocus Pocus and Hotel Transylvania all the time then.
This was Germany’s submission for Best International, and one of the 5 that got the nomination. This was a great film about a teacher that really wants to the best for everyone, but that isn’t how the world works, so her actions have consequences that she didn’t foresee. Everyone is just so good here. The students all feel like a real class, and when things start to unravel, it is all very believable. One sequence where our teacher holds a parent/teacher conference is especially great. You can feel the tension in the room as the parents all think their children are being failed by the teacher (a common thought with parents this generation) then switches to anger when one parent arrives that makes things so much worse.
I’m keeping this vague because this really is one that is best to not know how things unravel. I also like how the film just ends without resolving anything. Did the events in the film really lead to a court case? Did the teacher get to keep her job? I’m guessing no since the parents would all demand her remove even though she has done nothing wrong. This is just 90ish minutes of watching one persons life slowly be destroyed just by doing what she thought was the right thing, only to be met with strong opposition by the wrong people. I’m not sure how easy this will be for people to see, as it’s only playing at one theater here in the Metro Detroit area. It is definitely worth it if you have the ability to see it though.
While it’s still to early for me to share a Top 10/Bottom 10, (I’ll have one posted at the end of the first quarter at the end of next month) I will share one tidbit. The top 3 is currently all film nominated for Best International next month. Perfect Days is also nominated, and that is on my schedule for 2 weeks from now. That could make it 4 in a row at the top. Having to read subtitles isn’t a bad thing. Some of the best films come from other places that don’t speak our language. More people should give them a chance.
Next week will bring us Italy’s failed submission for Best International, Bob Marley, and Sony’s first of 3 Spider-verse movies for this year. Expectations are appropriately low for that one so maybe it surprises me. We will find out next week.
Mitten Film Nerd 
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