It came out this week that Quentin Tarantino’s 10th and final film, The Movie Critic, was canceled by QT. This was disappointing for me, as I was looking forward to it. I don’t think there is bad Tarantino film, and I have watched Pulp Fiction and Inglourious Basterds so many times. This is maybe the 3rd or 4th film that has been the “final film” when he comes up. It isn’t a secret that he wanted to do a Star Trek entry, and Kill Bill 3 has been considered too. I really don’t think those should be the final film for him though. Maybe if he has such a hard time picking a perfect end for his career, we just say Kill Bill 1 and 2 count as two films, and make Once Upon a Time in Hollywood the “final” film. It would be a great end to such a great career. With that, on to the reviews!
I have not kept it a secret that horror movies aren’t really my thing. That isn’t to say I don’t see one every once in a while. It also isn’t that I’m scared by them. There are just two parts of most horror movies that I just don’t like: jump scares and gore. The directors of this film previously directed the last two Scream entries and Ready or Not. While neither really employ the lazy tool of jump scares, they are definitely violent. The ending of Ready or Not is especially gross.
All of that brings me to Abigail. This is a lot like Ready or Not, both in tone and the extreme violence. I’ll give one light spoiler: less people explode in this than does in Ready or Not. As for the movie, it a fun time. The premise is remake of sorts of 1936’s Dracula’s Daughter, but in this version it’s about a group of criminals accidentally kidnapping a ballerina vampire. Hijinks ensue. The cast is really good here. Melissa Barrera comes over from the Scream movies and is our main character. Dan Stevens really is on one towards the end of the movie, and Kathryn Newton is here to check off another monster movie for 2024. She has done a vampire movie and a Frankenstein movie so far this year. Now she just needs a mummy or wolf man movie by the end of the year to complete the Universal monster set.
This was just a fun movie that really doesn’t take itself seriously. There are some cool kills, and even though it is a tad predictable, it has a story that moves at a good pace. I may have made it through this one, but there is still no chance I see some other horror movies this year. Alien Romulus can keep its facehuggers and leave me alone.
Snyder is back for the second installment of his version of his space epic, and while it is known these movies exist because he always wanted to direct a Star Wars, this second entry is no Empire Strikes Back. Picking back up almost immediately where last year’s Part One left off, our band of heroes have arrived back at the home village from the first movie. They then prepare for the arrival of the evil Motherworld, and a battle ensues. That is the whole plot in a nutshell shell.
This movie reminded mean lot of Lord of the Rings. In Two Towers, there is the Battle of Helms Deep. It seems like we spend so much time watching them prepare for that big battle, then we see the battle. I bring that up because that is exactly what this movie is. However, in Two Towers, there was Frodo’s storyline, and story before and after Helms Deep that didn’t have to do with the battle. In The Scargiver, no additional story is present. Of the 2 hour running time, the first hour is collecting the grain harvest, preparing for battle, and giving everyone another level of backstory, because they didn’t get enough in Part One apparently. Then the second hour is the battle. In terms of moving the overall storyline forward, we barely did in this one. Add in a lot of slow motion (this is a Snyder film after all) and you have your movie.
This was just a chore, and not really good science fiction either. Like the first part, this part too ends on a cliffhanger of sorts signaling Part 3 is coming. From what I read, it sounds like Snyder has a plan for this to be a six film saga. If there is a loving God, we will be spared from having 4 more of these. I can’t believe Netflix would be willing to spend so much on all of these entries, but I guess time will tell. I can’t even see if Netflix greenlit Part 3 yet.
Where to begin with this one. I guess I’ll start by saying it’s nearly impossible to spoil this one. That is simply because there is no plot or storyline. This is just 90 minutes following a family of sasquatches travels through the forest. It plays like a National Geographic documentary. There is no dialogue, just grunts and yells. Even if 8 was prepared for that going in, it really started to run thin. The film covers one year, divided into the seasons, with some major event happening in each section. Each event is the only semblance of a storyline, but once something seemingly major happens, the family moves on like nothing happens. The cruelty of nature is on display here. This is certainly not for everyone. It takes a very special (and patient) person to sit through this. I barely did, but three people in my screening noped right out of it by the 20 minute mark. This just seemed like a practical joke by the creators to see just what they could make people sit through. A very beautifully shot practical joke.
Guessing the box office for this upcoming weekend is a bit tricky. What we have is a bunch of newer films that are never going to be major money makers without a surprising run of viewers. There are also the blockbusters that are at least a month old at this point. We are also looking at another soft weekend heading into May, when Fall Guy will begin the real box office runs.
1. Challengers
2. Abigail
3. Civil War
4. Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare
5. Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire
The continuing mixed bag that has been this month concludes next week. The NFL Draft is here in Detroit next week, so that wipes out a lot of time to watch movies. So far it’s another Mystery Monday and a Christian musical group biopic. Challengers might get pushed to the next week of reviews if I can’t get to it in time for the weekly post a week from now.
Mitten Film Nerd 
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